Cucumber ga Kill
by Miz-KTakase
Summary: In this follow-up to "Cucumber: The Fic", in a behind-the-scenes moment, Cucumber got himself a sponsor, "Night Raid Robotics", which produced clones of Esdeath, Akame, & others. With Becky out of his life, and in his memories, he moves on, dating an Esdeath. But there's more. See how these dolls perform. Rated M for sexual scenes, explicit language, nudity, & suggestive dialogue.
1. Act 1

After a long day in _Miz-K Studios_ , Setsuna, a girl with long black hair, sans her ponytail, was walking by with a tray of coffee. She sat down and gave a cup to Vincent Payne, a huge burly man with dark skin and a black shirt and jeans. He had a flattop hairstyle and a beard. Setsuna gave him some coffee, as he said, in an Australian accent, "Thanks, luv."

"No problem, Vincent…" She said.

"So, where's Cucumber? The bloke sure gave me a gist of the fic, since our _Authority fic_ we did."

"Well, probably with Esdeath, his new robot lover."

"So, he finally got over his wife?"

"She's been dead for 20 years, and Esdeath is dead, too. Not big surprise…"

Heavy spoke, " _Not big surprisesirprus gib ton._ "

Setsuna said, "Of course, what I don't get is why he acts surly, owning a Robot Esdeath… Fembot… Gynoid, you name it…"

"I do believe the correct term is _android_ , a humanoid machine that simulate human mannerism."

She was confused, as he said, "What? I _did_ study in high school, and was captain of me rugby team. I'm a musclehead, but I ain't that dumb, mate."

"No shit." Setsuna said.

Vincent asked, "So, what happened? Did they have sex, shag a little, or maybe a little S&M?"

"PLEASE! This is a family fic!"

"Not to you, _Miss Konoka's Lover_."

"Fine… You want to know what happened?" Setsuna said, "Well, it all started when Cucumber sponsored his fic for many companies. He did do _Torgue_ , known for explosive ammunition, sponsor the Aloha Oe, with the addition of Dandy… lemme see, _BooBies_ , for the FREE pickles and food, and, oh, yes. Some place called _Night Raid Robotics._ "

"Night Raid Robotics?"

"It's more of a sex doll shop, but with robots. Anyway, Cucumber had to own about $250,000 worth of old Esdeath robots, obsolete and unused, and used them as his stuntwomen, all as Dent's clones. But after he finished the fic, he returned to give payment of what was left in the fanfiction's budget, after he wasted most of it for explosives and pyrotechnics…"

* * *

 ** _Cucumber in:  
"Cucumber ga Kill"  
Act 1 - "Kill the Cucumber"_**

* * *

"Here you are, my good man… $250,000 paid in full, for damages and ownership." Cucumber, a man with a bald head, wearing his black and red Deadpool shirt and blue jeans, said to the clerk, after giving him a huge bag of cash, "And a little extra for the damages to your dolls."

"Splendid!" The man in a white shirt and green hair said, "Such a stylish way to sponsor our fembots. Since the end of _Akame ga Kill_ , we wanted to jazz up fanservice."

"And that's why you built this Esdeath doll?"

"Indeed. But there's more!"

He showed a display line of different girls from _Akame ga Kill_. There were girls that are replicates of Sheele, Mine, Seryu, Chelsea, Leone, and Ayame. The man said that there are NO Najenda Robots, since they disapprove of one-eyed robots.

"Ouch. But I see that you spared no expense on these newer dolls…" Cucumber said, "I had to use more of my $30.5mil budget. Luckily, the others got paid. I see you added a cute girl in glasses, and that furry cat-wolf fembot… or something."

"Oh, yes. Since the fanfic was finished, and our sponsors got wind of it, we had to increase production. Look! We have your _Sheele 5000s,_ your _Chelsea 4000s,_ your _Mine M-90s,_ your _Leone 6000s,_ and your _Akame 7000s_."

He showed an empty display case with Akame, a girl with black hair and a black and red dress, in a cardboard cutout. The man said, "Of course, Akame was our bestseller, the minute your fic reached Scene 36."

"A sellout gynoid…" he said, "And what of the Esdeaths? Did you trashed them?"

The man smiled, "Oh, no, we didn't. We have already tested out the brand new _Esdeath 7000s_. I mean, you bought all of our outdated _4000s, 5000s,_ and _6000s_. And you did destroy most of them, with your wild slashing techniques."

"Hey, I didn't want to make them go to waste." Cucumber smirked, "I just love being me. I did salvage some leftover parts for you. They're still whole, I mean. I do my own stunts, ya know."

He asked, "So, does she do _anything_? She looks… rather…"

He blushed, as he saw Esdeath, standing in place, with her revealing gray uniform and hat on, with long white hair, pale skin, huge breasts, and blue eyes. She also has a tattoo of the mark of her Teigu. The man said that it doubles as an LED light, for when she wants to recharge or is in need of updates. Cucumber said, "She's beautiful. But is she like her predecessors?"

"All in 500,000 ways… including the beautiful ways of an icy Kama Sutra. Not to mention 1,001 uses for torture."

"Whoa… She _still_ has her _Akame ga Kill_ persona?"

"Indeed, she does. But with _sexual_ favors."

Cucumber looked at the Esdeath Robot, as he continued, "Yeah, and I am over Becky, after that horrific moment with one of your Esdeaths. Let's just say that I had to get over a two decade long grief process."

"Indeed. It has been 20 years, huh?"

Cucumber smiled, as he felt Esdeath Robot's face. He then blushed and whispered, "Like Becky, only sexier and hot in white eyeliner… She wants me… I want you…"

The man asked, "What?"

"Oh, nothing. I like this Esdeath. Too bad she's far too expensive."

"Well, she's yours, for only $25,000."

"I'll take it. I can risk not doing a sequel."

"But – lemme finish – for you, it's on the house for this 87-54-85 beauty, for making me famous, and putting _Night Raid Robotics_ on the map… unlike _Maidens for Hire,_ which is the #1 robotics distribution. NYAH! SO! Shall it be giftwrapped, or should we turn her on for you?"

"Nah, deliver her to me. I figure I needed a new flame. Also, I never knew that they resemble the deceased women in _Akame ga Kill_. Isn't the manga still ongoing?"

"Not all of them. Akame is still alive. We wanted to create her sister, Kurome… but Akame refuses. Said something about killing me for her likeness."

"I see…" Cucumber huffed, and then said to the 4th wall, "Yeah, guys. This guy knows when he hates being killed. Plus, from what I read, Kurome might be terminally ill. Bad call."

He asked him, "And what of the girls' personality?"

"Well, due to restrictions of the Empire, we can only use their voices, movements, and body measurements." The man said, "Being of stylish beauties, we cannot mimic them as ruthless killers, but pleasure models for all… provided they are given a level to start."

"And what are the levels?"

"We can go up to 3, as full-on sex… Level 1 is highly recommended, since their charm and harem is addicting."

"Say no more. Just deliver the bitch to me. Also, does she come in spare clothing?"

 **XXXXX**

Setsuna narrated, as Cucumber plugged Esdeath in, "So, Cucumber had to wait four hours to recharge his beauty, after owning him, after doing that horrendous fic we got to be in. He waited, hoping to learn more of the girl he had eyes on. After waiting five hours, he left with Mike, and did his brotherly activities. It was smart to wait, but neglecting his own robot girlfriend… it's tough.  
That night, he decided to test her out…"

Esdeath was in her white shirt, as it was open, with white panties. Cucumber turned her on, as Esdeath flashed her tattoo, lit up in a bright red color, and opened her eyes. She smiled and said, "Hello there, Master… I am Esdeath 7000… I am your new girlfriend…"

Cucumber said, "Seriously, how cliché can you get?"

He said, "You want to make out?"

Esdeath beeped, "Certainly, master. Level 1 activated… Dear master… Cuddle to me…"

They started to make out in bed, as Setsuna narrated, "Well, it was like magic, in a sexual way… and Cucumber enjoyed every minute of it. But then, when he activated Level 3, that's when the trouble begat."

Esdeath kneeled to a sweaty Cucumber, as she whispered, "Darling… Now, lemme taste that _Cucumber_ of yours, since it's your name… Level 3, beginning…"

She crawled to him and was about to remove her shirt. She tossed it to the floor, and her tattoo lit up blue. Cucumber asked, "UH, why is it blue?"

Esdeath shushed him, placing her finger on his lips and said, "Don't speak… Let's do it… I want you, so baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-."

 **PING!  
** Her eyes went into a solid blue, like the Blue Screen of Death, and suddenly crashed. She was motionless and frozen, as she was buzzing a bit. Cucumber asked, "Esdeath? Baby?"

He griped, "Oh, man! Level 3, and it just crashed! Damn it!"

He placed the broken Esdeath in a seated position and plugged her in. He consulted the manual said read: " _In case your Night Raid Robot suddenly crashes, restart her systems by pressing the switch in her navel, and wait until four hours, before reactivating her. NOTE: Make sure she is plugged in, for better results._ "

"Perfect." He said, "And just when things were getting hot."

He turned her off and went to sleep. He said, "You know, I'll stick to level 2, just in case. All it does is nightly favors…"

He added, to the 4th wall, "If you ask _me_ , Level 3 is in working order, but someone should patch up that glitch, going maximum."

He smirked, as he fell asleep.

* * *

Setsuna narrated, "Day in, day out, he was in love with his new robot… Sadly, every time she went to give Cucumber some sex, she always crashes. But that stopped. All she does now is waste her battery power, which takes about 4 to 6 hours. That battery isn't for forever, you know. Cucumber was surly, knowing that he was " _cock-blocked_ ", every time Esdeath Robot wants his body. But my guess it was something else. Weeks went out, and Cucumber was ready to go. He said to his lovely gynoid that he'll be back, as long as she remains stable and warmed up for sex."

Cucumber was leaving, in his trademark green pickle shirt and white pants. He said, "Esdeath, baby, I'll be home late. About 8ish. Keep those icy features warm for me. Uh, climate joke. Damn!"

He left, as Esdeath giggled, blushing heavily, sitting on the bed, "Mmm… He's so sexy… I can wait. I shall go on standby mode, befo-."

She froze and suddenly flashed orange on her tattoo, " _Update available… now downloading update… Estimated time: six hours, 34 minutes… Downloading commencing…_ "

Outside, Cucumber said, "Good! Now I can relax and go have a fun day!"

He cheered, "THIS IS IT! I get to have it with that cute little Esdeath! Goodbye, Becky, my late wife who told me to move on, which I'll gladly accept for her sake, and hello to a brand new lovelife, modeled after a late soldier of the Revolutionary Army~! NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!"

Just then, a police car drove by and a man in a blue hat called to him, "Hey, Jerry. You wanna go watch the view of the G Corporation, while we eat chili dogs?"

"DO I?" Cucumber cheered to Mike, "Thanks, man! I needed some down time, before 8."

"Why, what's up?"

He stepped in, as he said, "I'll explain on the way. CHILI DOG, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The police car drove off, as they head to the building of G Corporation.

 **XXXXX**

Mike & Cucumber were sitting in a picnic blanket, as they watched the carnage of soldiers attacking the G Corporation. Mike said, "See? Those puny army guys have no chance, against Kazuya Mishima… The guy was a hero, now he's such a jerk."

Cucumber said, "Yeah, I know. Plus, who knew chili dogs taste awesome, other than Mobius? Sonic's chili dogs are bleh…"

Mike stated, "By the way, that talk we had about those Night Raid Robots. Nice call, since it has been 20 years, after Becky died. It's tough to lose a sister-in-law. The downside of it is that you have no kids."

"Gimme a break, Mike!" Cucumber barked, "Dent killed my wife, I killed him back, we never planned on kids! That jerk took the only shred of happiness I have ever known! And that is only because she was with me, during the shooting of my fic."

"Yeah, I'm surprised her ghost did all that, during the shoot. Weird, huh? I thought someone portrayed your wife, just for the hell of it. Also, that gynoid. I was hoping you'd get Akame, but-."

"Nah. They were sold out." Cucumber explained.

He said to the 4th wall, "Cue the flashback."

Cut to Night Raid Robotics, as he was by the Akame standee. He pointed at it and said, "See, readers? Sold out of Akame."

He gasped, and then smiled, "Hey… A fourth wall breaking the fourth wall… That's like _sixteen_ walls."

Cut back to G Corporation, as he continued, "Esdeath was a true girlfriend for me. But she's dead now, and her likeness is portrayed in plastic skin, soft realistic hair, cushy breasts that are pillows, and hands that succumb your arousal levels to the MAX! I mean, take this chili dog, bro!"

" _You_ take it. I'm stuffed."

"No, listen. This is like a beautiful woman. You like the beauty of its art, and enjoy it to bits. But one isn't enough. You finish one, you get another."

He took another chili dog and said, "Of course, me, I have suffered two decades of being a widower. The only thing we have in common, my Esdeath and me, we're very hostile."

Mike explained, "Yeah, but this the same Esdeath that killed her one true love, who represents the _Revolutionary Army_ , and then committed suicide with Tatsumi's corpse, turning into ice, and shattering themselves into little pieces."

"Can you _not_ say?"

"I can say. I never read the manga."

"Mike, it's cool! Esdeath and I are just dating. You should get one for our brothers."

"Nah. I'm still finding a spouse, after Julie dumped me."

"Cool."

Mike then said, "By the way, I'd rest and NOT do sex with your Esdeath gynoid, if I were you. I mean, you had about 7 chili dogs, today. And we only bought 3 baker's dozen."

Cucumber said, "Meh, I'm good until 8 at night. Plus, I can handle a little mustard gas."

"Not that. I mean, you can't have sex on a very full stomach. You only eat pickles, let alone you have such an appetite."

"Hey, pickles is me. I love the taste of kosher and sliced in the morning."

Mike said, "Okay. But just do not crush her beautiful hip and butt with your fat ass…"

Cucumber huffed, "Oh, alright. I mean she _is_ a delicate machine. Maybe you're right. Besides, for weeks I have got _nothing_ … not even Becky won't do me, from the afterlife."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Alright, fine! Maybe in a day or two, I'll get it on with my Esdeath robot girl. But that's all! I'm growing impatient, and I know I'm guessing that I won't get any, until tonight."

"Right. Oh, hey! Tekken Force coming. Heads up."

They watched on, as the battle progresses from far away.

 **XXXXX**

Cucumber came home, as he moaned, "Honey, I'm home!"

He had a full stomach, as he grumbled, "Man… Did we escape the melee, after all those baker's dozen times three… That's 36 chili dogs, by the way."

 ** _NOTE:_** _A baker's dozen is 13, and Mike had three baker's dozen, which is 39._

He went to his room and saw his robot, in her baggy shirt and panties, plugged in and beeping.

 _"Updating… 65% downloaded… Updating… Updating…_ "

Cucumber moaned, "Great. About time those updates are working."

He held her hands and stood her up in a standing position. He said, "One day, my love… We shall have it on. Esdeath, who needs Tatsumi? Your memory of fanservice and harem-like bods are what makes you legend. You're such a cute piece of ass. Anyway, we'll get it on, once the updates are finished… and then, you're all mine."

His stomach gurgled, as he giggled, "But first, a trip to the can. B-R-B, babe~!"

He zipped to the bathroom, heading to the toilet. Esdeath beeped, as she was updating, " _Updating… 67% downloading… estimated time – 2 hours, 27 minutes…_ "

Of course, Cucumber knew it wasn't right to do it, right away. After his _escapades_ in his own toilet, he took a nap, and left Esdeath on standby mode.

 **XXXXX**

A few more weeks have passed, and the results were the same.

That night, Esdeath was giggling, as she was hugging Cucumber. They started to kiss, as Esdeath stripped down to just her black panties, with her long hair covering her breasts. She dug into his pants and said, "Now, how about that _Cucumber_ you have, since you're named Cucumber?"

He smiled and said, "What do you think? I'm all for your lust and romance, babe."

They kissed again, as Esdeath unzipped his pants. She kneeled down and slowly pulled his pants down, but then…

" _Error… System malfunction… System mal-… Error… Esdeath 7000 not responding…_ "

She froze in place, as her face was frozen, showing her mouth open and her tongue sticking out. Smoke emitted from within her body, as she slurred, " _I am Esdeath… I want your cucummmmmmmmmmmmmmm… rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…_ "

She powered down and died, as Cucumber looked down. He was furious, as he snarled, "Geez… All she did was pants me."

Days later, Esdeath was in her panties, again, as Cucumber placed her on the wall. Her breasts were pressed on the wall, while her hands were planted up. Cucumber rubbed his hip onto the gynoid's butt, as she moaned, "YES! Yes… Do me… Make me feel drrrrrrrrr-."

Her eyes blipped blue, as her tattoo lit red. Cucumber saw the frozen and broken gynoid, as he moaned, "Shit! Not again!"

Esdeath smoked again from inside her body, as her face was cringed, with her eyes half-closed and her mouth wide open in a circle. She froze again, before they would begin.

A few more days later, they were in bed, as Esdeath was over him, on all-fours. She giggled, with her butt upward, and wearing her white shirt, "Now… Shall we, my love?"

Cucumber asked, "Uh, how do I know you won't freeze, like before?"

She placed her finger on his mouth and said, "I'm programmed to withstand my flaws. Now, you don't want to anger the leader of an Imperial Army. Let us see how _big_ your Imperial Arms is, once I begin to su-."

She froze, as she beeped, " _System error… Eroge… Eroge… Error… File not fou-… Nnnnnnnnnnnn…_ "

She collapsed, as her eyes went black, landing on Cucumber. Her body let out more smoke, as he griped, "WILL THIS NEVER END? I want one-on-one with her! IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?"

Esdeath was broken, again, as Cucumber was, once again, _cock-blocked_. Day after day, he charmed and fondled his new gynoid, but no luck on going all the way on Esdeath, since she crashes and powers down, now and again. Cucumber felt like he was cursed, since he's dating a robot, programmed for pleasure. Too bad that her body wasn't stable enough.

Afterwards, after three months of NO sex, he called _Night Raid Robotics,_ as he complained about the robot breaking down. The man explained that Esdeath 7000 was a test robot, designed for sex… However, she has already been through certain updates that can be fixed. But the man was a little peeved that he wasn't satisfied, since Esdeath is programmed for sex, on Level 3, and yet she has broken down, at Level 1, first time around. He promises Cucumber that repairs will be made, as he'll fix this problem, once he finds the right parts. After that, he concluded that if the original Esdeath 7000 breaks down, continuously, Cucumber would give them a call, and they'll replace the broken gynoid with another Esdeath, free of charge. Cucumber agreed, as he said, "Good. To be honest, it feels like technology cursed me, but good."

He hung up, as he turned to the Esdeath on his bed. He proceeded to strip her into her naked motionless body. He carried the gynoid away to his closet and pulled out a metal trashcan. He dumped the broken robot in, as he said, "You know, maybe they'll fix you, but right now, my sex drive is next to nil. Rust in peace, you stupid prototype!"

He lied down in bed, as the naked gynoid of Esdeath remained in his trashcan.

* * *

Setsuna continued, as she was upset, "And that's how it was. Days later, the technicians came in and repaired her, but stayed with Cucumber, to produce more Esdeath sex dolls… so far, he's up to _Esdeath 7000.8_ , his eighth robot woman. But all that time, he didn't get to first base, at all, batting at zero. No one knew why she wouldn't respond to her sexual motors. Some say that Esdeath was too new, and she always malfunctions… or that Cucumber's insanity levels seeped into her servos and break her, easily. Or maybe it's like SimCity Online."

Vincent roared in anger, "OH! So he is getting screwed by lemons, eh?"

He slapped Setsuna in the face, as he yelled, standing up, "I'm going to have a word with that man who runs the sex robot place, which I think it's a scam!"

He marched off, as Setsuna pleaded, "WAIT A MINUTE, VINCENT! HEY! Cucumber won't like this… VINCE! Vincent?"

She chased after him, as she pleaded him to not do anything drastic, like destroying the _Night Raid Robotics_ place.

 **XXXXX**

Meanwhile, in Cucumber's house, Esdeath was already being repaired, as he got a call from Night Raid Robotics. It was the man that gave him the endless repair jobs for Esdeath.

"Sir, great news!" He said, on the phone, "We have some Akames available, in case you need to have a safer working robot."

Cucumber asked, "Gee, I don't know… I have been celibate for months, and malfunctions have cock-blocked me… Is this Akame in working condition?"

"Just fresh from the factory, and updated, too."

"What about Esdeath? I mean, it's wrong to keep these two, being they are enemies."

"Oh, not to worry, Mr. Holowitz. This one will be paid for, and the updates will make sure that there will be _no_ friction between beauty robots; only because the Akame/Esdeath feud was long ago. But there's also that Mine/Seryu thing…"

"Huh? How so?"

The clerk explained how the Seryu Robot has problems getting along with Mine, Chelsea, and Sheele, on account the REAL Seryu battled them, long ago. Cucumber was amazed by the updates, and the features in Akame, he decided to buy one. The clerk said that it's already paid for, and should be delivered to him, shortly. He also suggested that he and Akame Robot should have the Esdeath Robot turned off.

"Fine. I mean, Esdeath doesn't know… If they do, what could it mean?"

The clerk giggled, "You'll see."

He hung up, as Cucumber groaned, "Oy.", knowing it could be bad.

 **XXXXX**

One week later, the Akame Robot arrived for him, as he stood her straight. She was in a black sleeveless dress, with a red necktie, a red belt, and red gloves. Akame started moving, as Cucumber said, "I already turned her on. Just so you know. It has been hours."

Akame spoke, with her red eyes flashing, "Hello, master. I am Akame. I am your new girlfriend."

She hugged him, as he blushed,"Okay… not how I expected, but…"

He asked her, "You want to make out?"

Akame smiled, "Level 1… Let's cuddle. Shall we?"

They started to kiss each other on the lips, as Akame moaned, removing her tie. He stopped and asked, "Uh, are you set to Level 3 or Level 2? Or is this out of impulse?"

Akame blushed, "You already have an Esdeath Robot… Just pretend I'm her. Besides, that big-breasted robot malfunctions, due to girth, i.e. mass."

He asked, "Well, what of you?"

She blushed, as she removed his shirt, "I'm 81-56-83. I'm ALL-woman… And ALL yours… You don't need that ice bitch…"

He said, as he was nervous, "Why are you being mean?"

She slapped his thigh and said, "I am very deadly… in the art of battle. _One slice, one kill_ … But for this, it's _one kiss, one lust_ … _Level 3 activated…_ "

Akame removed her black dress and revealed her ample chest, wearing white panties, with her black hair over her bare breasts. She pushed Cucumber down, as she winked, "You're mine… You hot and sexy Cucumber… Lemme have a taste of that meat… I love meat…"

Cucumber shrieked, as he struggled to escape, "WAUGH! UNDO! UNDO! I DON'T WANT AKAME, ANYMORE! **UNDO, AUTHOR! UNDOOOOOOOOOOO!** "

Akame held his face and whispered, "What's my name, baby?"

Cucumber sobbed, "Help me…"

Akame began to kiss and fondle him, as he was in his underwear, being forced to make out with her. She rubbed his bare chest, as she smiled and giggled, "Now, hottie… Lemme have that taaaaaaaaa-."

 **BZZT!  
** She collapsed and plopped her near-naked body onto his. Akame died down, as her battery was dead. Earlier, Cucumber recharged her, but going at Level 3 takes a lot of power. Cucumber moaned, as he was blue in the face, "Thank god. I kinda knew this would happen…"

He grumbled, as he pushed Akame off, "Fucking sex dolls. What is wrong with this place? Esdeath doesn't know. And what she doesn't know, won't kill her… or me… And even if they tried to, y'know, _choppy-choppy_ me _wee-wee_ , well, A) they are bounded by the _Three Laws of Robotics_ , and B) it can always grow back. I mean, I regenerate."

He placed Akame in a kneeled position, as her mouth was slightly open and her eyes were closed. He added, "This, coming from a gynoid, modeled after the title character, who doesn't do much…"

He went to sleep, as he was exhausted, as he was, _once again_ , cock-blocked from the _Night Raid Robots_. Only, this time, he was happy. But eventually, he got a refund on the Akame Robot, being she was too sultry, and that at Level 3, she becomes violent and lustful. That would later be updated for a safer programming, to avoid being sued for domestic violence. Of course, instead of a refund, he got an exchange. And he only used the Akame Robot, as his substitute girlfriend, seeing he is dating Esdeath.

 **XXXXX**

One week later, after Esdeath was sitting in her chair, recharging, Akame Robot was in bed with Cucumber, making out from in the covers. They managed to fix up the whole programming/glitch issues on Akame 7000, but not Esdeath 7000. Akame Robot, naked, with her hair over her chest, was under the covers, as she kissed Cucumber. She whispered, "You don't need Esdeath, when you have me…"

Cucumber said, "Well, we never had sex. But this is a first to you."

Akame beeped, "I can make it happen, someday…"

They went under the covers, and continued to make love, as Esdeath remained motionless, still plugged in. Of course, Cucumber never really had sex, at all. It was caressing and fondling, but none of that. He was playing it safe, avoiding any injuries or malfunctions. But knowing our intrepid little director/fanfic writer, he can risk it.

* * *

Cucumber was in his red chair, as he said to the 4th wall, "The following fic you just saw is true. And, well, for the record, I _still_ didn't have sex with Esdeath; Akame, too. But on the plus side, she does work well for me."

The Esdeath 7000.8 was digging into his pants, as she whispered, "Does that feel good, master?"

He said, "Let's see how long before you get replaced."

"Pardon me, master?"

"Nothing. I didn't say stop. But WATCH the merchandise! Rub the butt and upper thigh, not the frontal region!"

"Yes, master."

She continued, as she kissed on his neck. He then said to the audience, "Well, see you next chapter, people. Seriously, we're done. Just turn away."

The camera turned to the other side, as Cucumber moans offscreen, while Esdeath continued to fondle him. He gasped, as he giggled, "How frisky… OH! Not there! AH! NOT THERE! Seriously, robo-dolt! NOT _THERE!_ Step away from the-!"

 **BZZT!  
** The scene got cut off, as the text card read " _Please Stand By_ ".

* * *

 ** _More of this, in the next chapter…_**


	2. Act 2

Following the escapades of Cucumber and Esdeath's carnal pleasures (or lack thereof), Cucumber's posse joins in a conference, in a huge meeting room, following Vincent Payne's suggestion on trying to invade the _Night Raid Robotics_ domain, as Setsuna was livid.

"Seriously!" She barked, as she adjusted her side-ponytail, "I mean, if they are androids, designed for sex, then why not make them useful for something, nonetheless?"

Mayura, a girl with blue hair and a yellow blouse and skirt, responded, "Well, _Maidens for Hire_ have gotten successful, since its return. And Cucumber told me nothing about his sex life."

Vincent Payne, the huge dark-skinned guy in a black shirt and jeans, said, "OY! He told me nothing! They break down, and suddenly, he gets more slaves for his harem!"

Mayura scoffed, "He only needs _one_."

Seina smiled, "And we all know that Esdeath is dead… and also Seryu, Mine, Sheele, Chelsea, Leone, and Akame…"

Mayura said, "Uh, Akame's _not_ dead. I think you meant Kurome."

"I knew that."

"And apparently, you never read the manga…"

"Well, we'll accept the fact that those girls are dead."

Vincent said, "So, what of this situation? Cucumber is happy, we can't interfere, but we have to end this Night Raid Robotics fad! Miz-K hears wind of this, he'll dissolve _Maidens for Hire_!"

Mayura said, "Oh, we can't have that!"

Konoka, a girl in long brown hair, said, "Hello~!"

Setsuna said, "Miss Konoka? What are _you_ doing here?"

Konoka said, "Well, I wanted to see you. I overheard this whole _Night Raid Robotics_ idea… and I had to go check it out."

She called out a girl in long black hair, wearing a black and red shirt and skirt. Konoka giggled, "Ta-da~! Meet Akame~! She's going to play with us, starting tonight~!"

Setsuna gulped, as she was shocked, " _Et tu,_ Miss Konoka?"

Mayura whispered to Seina, in a sinister grin, "Someone's getting lucky, tonight…"

Seina giggled, as Setsuna hollered, "SHUT UP!"

Akame bowed, as Setsuna went to Konoka, blushing in embarrassment, as she spoke in an argument, incoherently. Vincent said, "So… What of the others?"

Mayura said, "Well, I had Seina and Kuon take care of it."

"Bup-bup! Myself, Kotoha, _and_ Ayumu… Kuon's MIA, since that incident with _Miss Kanade_."

"Oh, right."

Seina saluted, "But we have learned that the models for each _Night Raid Sex Robot_ have been distributed, in different areas… but with different ways… sans sex."

Vincent asked, "Huh? How so? You mean someone decided to buy one of those harpies, as a normal person?"

Seina giggled nervously, "Uh… sort of… But Kotoha _did_ hack into their CPUs, selecting each robot that a person owns, including Cucumber's own sex gynoid."

Mayura stated, "Luckily, we didn't bother with _his_ Esdeath 7000 and whatever the fuck she is now…"

Seina showed a wall of TVs, as Konoka asked, "Oh?"

Setsuna said, "Miss Konoka, I think you should sit down."

Konoka replied, "Oh, goody. Maybe I can learn from who owns a cute sex robot…"

She barked, "WHAT? You're always so jumpy and scared!"

"I know, Miss Konoka… But I'm a fighter, first, and a lover, second…"

"I get it… You just don't want it, right away."

"Yeah, but I don't want to break her in, just yet. I mean, Cucumber's was alright, until she broke down, on the first day. Yeah."

Konoka blushed, as Setsuna said, "So, who owns which?"

Seina said, "Okay, I got a lock on one robot…"

She read the list, "We have a Sheele 5000, Chelsea 4000, Mine M-90, Seryu U-28, Leone 6000, Akame 7000, and Esdeath 7000. All these beauties are owned by certain people we already know of… who are not in our radius. The Covert Squad installed probes inside their bodies, as a way of viewing the action. I have a lock-on in a place. These will show us that they are useful in numerous manners, working and living in the human world, where it's not just pleasure, but for acts of social life."

She turned on one monitor, as she viewed a customer with a female robot, in purple, in a restaurant. It was a Sheele Robot, cooking stir-fry, in a kitchen.

Mayura said, "Oh. I didn't know they can cook, too."

Seina said, "They don't, really."

Konoka whispered, "So beautiful…"

Vincent huffed, "Bugger this… Lemme see those phobes in action!"

Seina said, " _Probes,_ Mister Payne. And, effectively, these will keep an eye out for any action, minus the porn stuff."

Mayura moaned, "That figures. No one likes a pervert or an eavesdropper."

Seina smiled, "I _am_ an eavesdropper, except I play by the book."

He added, "Well, seeing it's a _girls'_ thing, I should take my leave."

Setsuna barked, " _You're_ staying!"

Vincent leaned by the wall, crossing his arms, as the others were watching the Night Raid Robots, in action, starting with Sheele.

* * *

 ** _Act II: Kill the Glitches_**

* * *

We now cut to each robot girl that was owned by another person, not for sex, but for something else. Since _Night Raid Robotics_ became as popular as the newest _iPhone_ , most people purchase these cute sex dolls, and made them work in different styles. Be aware that each of them are working odd jobs, all at _Level 1 (Flirtation Mode)_. Let's begin with Sheele.

Sheele was working in the diner, with her purple attire, in long purple hair and glasses. She has a smile on her face, as she served a plate of chop suey to four men in blue shirts. A man in blonde hair and a black suit was watching on, smoking his cigarette. He was sitting by a man in a green robe, with short light green hair and his left eye scarred shut.

"Man, ask your slave bot to get me some booze…" he moaned.

Sanji roared, "Shut it, mosshead! We're trying to drum up business."

Sheele returned to the counter, as she bowed, "Table 4 is prepared, master."

Sanji had hearts for eyes, as he giggled, "My dear Sheele-swan, you are so loyal to me…"

Zoro grumbled, "And this is why you bought her?"

Sanji grumbled, "Ignore him. He's just antsy."

"I'm NOT antsy, you perverted cook!"

"Just sit in the back!"

"No way! I'm sitting here, making sure you don't cop a plastic cheap feel!"

"Aw, you guessed? Not in front of the customers! And I'm NOT touching _these_ hands on her."

Sheele blushed, as she twiddled her fingers to Sanji's black tie, "Forgive me… I know you want to flirt, like I do, Master, but I have business to prepare. Once I am fully available, we kiss."

She walked off, as Sanji dropped his head in shame, "She always does that to me… whenever we fight. Why doesn't she talk to _you_?"

"She's _your_ doll." Zoro huffed, "YOU bought her as your personal chef. And _you're_ supposed to be the chef to Luffy."

"I know. But looking back to my days at Baratie, I figured I would start my own chain. But one's fine. If anybody has a problem with that, they'll feel the burning passion of my kicks."

"Have you ever considered punching a deadbeat cheapskate in the face?"

"Sorry, man. But a cook's hands are not meant for physical violence. They are delicate, as does my heart."

"I had to ask… Plus, I'm surprised that you never retaliated on that fembot…"

"Be that as it may, whether fembot or human woman, I would never strike a lady. AT ALL! I know it leads to trouble, since Enies Lobby."

"Oh, right. You took a beating from that CP9 woman…"

Sheele came out, serving a huge sushi platter, as Sanji explained, "But she knows about 50,000 ways to cook fish. Hence the reason. Any leftovers, it is _my_ job."

"Well, you are an excellent chef… but not a good one, seeing that you only want to get more fish and ingredients." Zoro stated, "I mean, you have a dream to find All Blue. That seems right, being you are of a chef's caliber. But tone down your perversion, and you're going on a higher echelon."

Sanji roared, "MUST YOU HARASS ME, MOSSHEAD? BEAT IT!"

Zoro went to the kitchen, as he huffed, "Fine. Don't come crying to me, when your customers call you a pervert."

Sanji barked, "YEAH, YEAH! Go peddle your damn booze problems, elsewhere!"

Sanji sighed, as he smoked his cigarette, puffing out smoke. Sheele returned to him, as she asked him if he feels bummed. Sanji said that he's alright, since he and Zoro constantly bicker. Only because he has his own ways. Sheele said, "Oh, only if he's ornery. I mean, one time, when I came here, I found him in the woods, as I was getting firewood."

"Yeah, Zoro's got a very poor sense of direction."

Zoro called out, from in the kitchen, "I HEARD THAT!"

He whispered to her, "It's true. Mosshead's got poor directions. He's a master of the swords, but can't even find his own hideaway."

She sobbed, "Oh, dear. Perhaps I can be his GPS? Or I can hire a Sheele 5000 to assist him."

He laughed, "Nah! Let him have his time. Plus, I don't think he likes that, since he knows of another woman… an admiral in the Marines… who has a sword, too. Tough times."

She giggled, "You're so funny, Master. Such a hot guy with problems for his friend."

"I wouldn't call him a friend… Crewmate, yes, but not a friend…"

She went to the kitchen, as she said, "Please excuse me, Master."

Sanji sighed, as he was dejected and bummed, "We talked, and she is as cute as ever. When is the work going to end?"

Inside the kitchen, Sheele held up a bottle of sake, and then poured it into a cup. He went to Zoro, who is sitting in the corner. She gave him a cup, but Zoro said, "No, I don't need your pity… or your service, you fake doll."

"Come on. It's alcohol… or _booze,_ as you call it."

"No, thanks…"

"You're old enough to drink?"

"Actually, yes. You think I'm 19?"

 _Zoro's 21, the restricted age limit for drinking._

Sheele gave him the cup, as she said, "You are antsy, after all. Do you hate me, or all _Night Raid Robots_?"

"No. I don't. To be honest, I don't care." He took a sip and said, "It's just that if someone gives _me_ a robot, I'd ruin her. I'm not into love. The only love of my live… is my swords. All three of them… and they helped me in battle, with a few exceptions."

Sheele smiled, "I know how you feel, Roronoa."

"For the record, I'm happy with all my swords… but one I'll miss… is Yubashiri."

"One of your swords? How sad."

Sheele sobbed a bit, as Zoro said, "Yeah, it's alright. Like you, it's just a thing that can go away… if destroyed. Of course, I still have Wado Ichimonji, Sandai Kitetsu, and Shushi. It was destroyed, during my battle in Enies Lobby, and replaced it with another. Of course, I left it at Thriller Bark, as a burial…"

Sheele was weeping, as Zoro complained, "HEY! Why are you crying? It's just a sword!"

"Just a sword? Just a thing? That was one of your precious swords, and instead of building it, you tossed it away!"

"Gimme a break! That was beyond repair, and it has rusted! Plus, that sword was precious to me!"

Sheele wiped her tears and said, "I don't care. Roronoa, that was humble of you to give _Yubashiri_ up, all for another, since he cannot be fixed. He'll miss young Wado and Sandai."

He griped, "HEY, WAIT! Don't lump my swords as living people!"

She hugged him, as she said, "Don't give in, Roronoa… You're so sad to see it go… let alone, it's like you are isolated by your feelings, all because you're minus _one_ sword. _Insert sword pun… Error… not found…_ "

Sheele sat up, as she bowed, "It's fine. I know what you're feeling… despite being lonely without your sword."

Zoro asked, "Wait, what were we even talking about?"

Sheele turned away and said, "You love your sword… and your other two… almost as much as others."

He said, "Well, I'm not into romance, yet. Luffy doesn't, either, since he's a nitwit."

Sheele blushed, "I am Master's sex robot, all for his duties… but… It's true that he's lecherous, but that's how I'm designed…"

Zoro said, "Well, maybe you should give that pervert chef some warnings. Maybe tell him NOT to touch you, tonight, or any other night, if he giggles to girls, in those eyes."

Sheele bowed and adjusted her glasses, "Well, I'll try. But maybe I can work really hard, I'll be running low on battery power… so he wouldn't get any. I cannot lie. It's how I'm programmed. But even someone like him _deserves_ a night with me."

Zoro smiled, " _Now_ you're talking."

Sheele started to cook, on the stove, as Zoro said, "Well, maybe you should tell him, once the time is right. Make him become a virgin, forever."

Sheele smiled, "Aw, that's fine. The guy likes me for my looks, and also my boobs…"

Zoro croaked, "URK! That bastard!"

Sanji appeared by the door, as he called, "HEY! Sheele! Lobster salad on table 5, and a huge beef casserole in table 3."

Sheele nodded, "Right away!"

Zoro said, "You're so pathetic."

Sanji growled, "WHAT? Bastard!"

Zoro said, "Don't overwork her, okay? She's _your_ robot."

Sanji snuffed, "Either get in the robot girl game, or go find your own damn refuge!"

Sheele asked, "Oh? Is Roronoa homeless?"

Zoro said, "No. Just lost…"

Sanji said, "Good thing you came along."

Sheele smiled, "Indeed. OH! While it is cooking, Master, may we talk?"

Sanji giggled, "Anything, my Sheele-swan~!"

Sheele held up a giant pair of scissors with a small panda emblem. She said to Sanji, "About tonight's love-making… We should talk."

Zoro and Sanji gasped, "WHAT THE HELL? WHAT ARE THOSE, SCISSORS?!"

Sheele giggled, in a very wicked smile. She even told Sanji that if he ever slapped the butt of another woman, or remotely touch any female of the species, she'd clip his thing off.

She concluded, "Be prepared."

She walked off, but tripped down to the floor. She fell in a THUD, onto the kitchen floor. She lifted herself up, as she was on all-fours. She crawled around the kitchen, as she moaned, with her eyes squinting, "Glasses… Glasses… Where are my glasses? Glasses?"

Sanji was shaken, as he whimpered, "Prepare for what? And what did she mean _thing_?"

Zoro was frightened, as he whispered, "Whoa… She ain't kidding, with that intimidation."

Sanji was on all-fours, as well, completely dejected, "She's so cute on her hands and knees, looking for her glasses… but I can't shake off what she'll do to me, if I flirt with my Nami-Swan or Robin-Swan or others…"

Zoro smirked, as he looked at Sheele, still crawling around, looking for her glasses.

Of course, Sheele is bluffing, since these robots obey the _Three Laws of Robotics,_ despite being modeled as characters of _Akame ga Kill_.

* * *

A girl in very long black hair was lying face down, in the nude, with her lower body covered in a huge white towel. A girl in dark orange hair in a ponytail, wearing a green blouse and dark gray pants, with chrome arms, was rubbing the girl's bare back. She moaned, as she said, "Ahhh… Such bliss."

A girl in short black hair, wearing a white sweater and jeans, appeared, as she asked her sister. "Uh, Tenma… What are you doing?"

Tenma smiled, in complete bliss, "Such bliss… very soothing…"

Yakumo asked, "Sis? Why are you being in a smile, like that?"

Tenma moaned, "More… Even lower…"

Seryu beeped, "Certainly, Master."

This was a Seryu U-28, an android built to resemble the late Seryu Ubiquitous. She was massaging Tenma Tsukamoto's back, continuously. Yakumo asked Seryu to stop, but Seryu replied, "This is a reply to your sister. She is a cute little sister…"

Tenma said, "Uh, Seryu, _she's_ my cute little sister. I'm older than her."

Seryu stopped and said, "Oops. My error."

Tenma barked, "I DIDN'T SAY STOP!"

Yakumo complained, "BELAY THAT ORDER! Tenma, we should talk!"

Tenma said, "Oh. It's _you_ , Yakumo. Sorry. I was in peace. Seryu, tone down your massage form."

Seryu nodded, as she continued, slowly and carefully. Yakumo asked Tenma, "Where did you get that thing?"

Tenma smiled, "You like it? It's a _Night Raid Robot_ , a _Seryu M-90_. She is owned by me, and she's very useful in massage techniques."

Yakumo examined her and said, "Isn't she one of those sex robots from _Night Raid Robotics_?"

"Yeah. But I don't care."

"Get that thing out of here! I don't want a sex robot!"

"It's not for you! It's for _me_ , only! Besides, I needed tension relieved, after everything in my life. And to add, you can thank Harima for that. He _did_ give me the money for it. At first, I didn't know, but…"

 _Harima, a guy in a black jacket and pants, with a goatee and slick black hair, wearing shades, was with Tenma, as he gave her a huge was of money (about 500,000 Yen). He said to her, "Tenma, I know this may not be the right time, but here. Here's something for you, so you can treat yourself."_

 _Tenma gasped, "HOLY CRAP! There's like a million dollars in here!"_

 _"Actually five hundred thousand Yen."_

 _"Oh. What should I do? And where did it come from?"_

 _"Rich Girl's bank account. She had so much leftover she gave it to me. However, I don't need most of her money… just for bills, lunch, gas, rent, and supplies. The rest is yours, since… well…"_

 _Tenma blushed, and then said, "Aw, Harima… You didn't have to. But still…"_

 _Harima said, "Tenma. Listen, I know it's too soon, but the truth is-."_

 _Tenma zipped off, running off in smiles, cheering. Harima cried, "AW, COME ON! YOU RUN OFF LIKE THAT?"_

 _He sighed, "Well, Rich Girl isn't going to like this… I gave Tenma all I have… from her own account. I don't like this, one bit."_

 _Tenma was walking down the street, as she saw a flier for Night Raid Robotics. She then huffed, "Oh… So it's THOSE robots!"_

 _She marched in and complained, "SIR! What you are doing is sickly sickening! What are these robots?"_

 _He explained, "Miss, I can assure you that our robots are programmed for your most desirable pleasures."_

 _"WHAT?! You're sick! I should buy one of your shops and shut you down!"_

 _"Uh, this is the only store…"_

 _"Yeah? Well, you won't find ME in your orgy of sex gynoids!"_

 _"It's not just for sex, you know. I have had ONE customer, a regular, and he is using an Esdeath 7000, continuously, but never had the chance, due to errors and glitches. They do keep their abilities intact."_

 _"Oh, my… What are these "Abilities" you speak of?"_

Tenma smiled, "And when I bought one, I figured I was an all-purpose servant for our home. It's better than renting a robot… and at _Level 2,_ she can make me feel a lot of pleasure."

Seryu smiled, "Justice always prevails… but as Seryu U-28, it's _pleasure_ before _justice_!"

Tenma smiled, "Sorry, my bad. I got those numbers confused."

"Please do not mention M-90 in front of me, Master."

"Right. U-28… U-28…"

 _By the way, Level 2 is Intimacy Mode, which is mostly for massaging and cuddling, in a warm body. And it comes with built-in warmth, for better handling._

Yakumo said, "Wow. But her face looks yandere-like… It's like she wants to break your neck, or something."

Tenma moaned, as Seryu continued, "Don't be silly! I know I can trust h-!"

 **CRACK!  
** Tenma's legs bent back, as Seryu said, "Good enough, Master?"

Tenma groaned, in pain, "Yeah… Real good… Ow…"

She moaned, as she was hurt, "Of course, I'll never get why she uses massaging, as much as chores… But I'd stay away from Level 3."

Yakumo said, "Well, you are of a beautiful girl, and you have a boyfriend, sort of."

Tenma huffed, "Karasuma isn't my boyfriend! Well, he didn't say he loves me… I did love him, but… poor him… That was terrible of him to lose what he remembers…"

Seryu asked, "Is he terminal?"

Tenma said, "No. He has this disease that makes him forget a lot of things."

Yakumo smiled, "And you are studying to be a doctor. How is it going?"

Tenma winked, "So far, so go-."

 **SLAP!  
** Seryu slapped her butt, as Tenma cried, "HEY! HEY! HEY! Not over there! Hands off the merchandise!"

Seryu bowed, "If that is how you wish, justice was too focused that it missed something…"

Tenma huffed, as she said to Yakumo, "Since she was introduced, she has been obedient, and usually is playful at my cute butt and legs. I should call the hotline and learn more, even though I just reactivated her, yesterday…"

Seryu explained, "You bought me, last week, and you didn't turn me on, when you got home. Miss Tenma wanted to learn how to turn me on, and learn how to set it to _Massage Mode,_ as she calls it. Justice isn't about massages… soon, she will be mine, in the name of absolute pleasure… **BZZT!** …absolute pleasure."

Tenma whispered to Yakumo, "She knows I'm not gay, alright? But she does have a thing for my body… unlike you…"

Yakumo blushed, as she held her chest, "SIS! Please…"

Seryu asked, "Shall I do you, next? But… if it is okay with Tenma."

Yakumo heavily blushed and said, "Uh… …no, thanks…"

Tenma pouted, "Aw, coward!"

Seryu giggled, as she rubbed her legs, "Justice needs to knead cramps out! Level 5 – _Seryu's Famous Thigh Munchers_!"

Her arms produced needles and soft pads of pillows, as she begin to massage her thighs. Tenma moaned in bliss and ecstasy, as she moaned, "Ahhhhh… So soft… I forgot… Seryu has… ohhhh…"

Yakumo asked, "Sis, you okay? What is she doing now?"

Tenma fainted, as she was still being massaged in the legs. Seryu made demonic eyes, as she continued.

Seryu U-28s, at Level 2, can perform her _Justice Massage Service_ , which is ten levels of _Stylish Spa Service_ , from back treatment to muscle soothness. The best part was, it was free… though, it does leave a user to pass out, at a higher level of Seryu's abilities. Tenma would wake up, minutes later.

"Tenma? Tenma?" Yakumo tried to wake her up, "Hey, Tenma! Oh, no… Breathe, Tenma! Breathe!"

Seryu was busy with her Level 5 powers, as Yakumo asked, "Well?"

* * *

Seina read the book, as she said, "I'm amazed that they have superb traits… But a Leone Robot is too furry… like a nekomimi girl…"

Mayura smiled, "She's down to _yiff_."

Seina slapped her head, as Vincent said, "Stupid… Mayura would have cat ears… and a tail…"

Setsuna blushed, "And about Akame?"

The Akame Robot was massaging Konoka, as she asked, "Hey, Secchan… She's very nice in Level 2."

Setsuna shrieked, "AT A TIME LIKE THIS?"

Seina said, "Ignore her. I suppose that she's into urges and intimacy. It's always so intimate… but we should digress."

She turned the monitors on, as Mayura viewed it, "HEY! That's Miyagami Academy!"

Seina gasped, "That's impossible."

Vincent smirked, "I am liking this…"

Mayura sobbed, "I'm not. How much did the budget loss?"

Seina asked, "UH, weren't you already graduated?"

Mayura glared, crossing her arms, "Weren't you a teacher there?"

* * *

A girl with long purple hair was sitting in a table, as she was upset. She was in a purple gown, with her hair done in long pigtails. She let out a small glare, as she said, "Boring… So bored…"

A woman in a red jacket and light jeans walked by, as she asked, "Oh, hello. You go to this school?"

Mine barked, "No! I am a pleasure model for my master. HELL NO, I don't go to this school! All you girls are so twisted and gay!"

"Huh? What are you sassing at me about?" Itami asked.

This is a Mine M-90, a very sassy robot, with a very small body, meaning her curves are getting there. Mine is owned by one of the faculty members in Miyagami Academy, and not one of the students. FYI, she is NOT owned by Kanade Jinguji.

Mine huffed, "Well? Are you going to stand around, all day, or are you going to stare at my boobs, pumpkin?"

Itami scoffed, "Such a mouth. Perhaps we should change you out of your clothes and into a Miyagami School uniform. How old are you?"

Mine said, "My age is _restricted_. I am a pleasure model, at 18. I am Mine M-90. I am programmed to please."

She rebooted, as she said, "None of your damn business, pumpkin!"

"WHOA! Did that robot, android, and gynoid just rebooted?!" Rein cried.

Rein and Sayuri ran to her, as Mine glared at the high school girls, in tan blazers and dark green skirts. Rein has short reddish brown hair, with a small pigtail on the right, and Sayuri has long purple hair, done in a ponytail, and wearing glasses. Mine said, "What is up, shorty?"

Rein cried, "SHORTY?!"

Sayuri said, "You dare talk sass at my friend?"

She pointed her wooden sword at her and said, "Apologize to her, you outdated mannequin!"

Itami pleaded, "Girls, girls, no need for a fracas. Mine is simply here to observe."

Mine asked, "Are you a lesbian?"

Mine smirked, as Itami gasped in horror. Mine replied, "Well, I have calculated the girls in this area… and this _Payapaya_ as they mentioned…"

Rein shrieked, "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAT?!"

Sayuri stated, "This school isn't for romance, thank you. Even so, there are fables and rumors of _Payapaya_ in an all-girls' high school. This is for grades 7-12."

Rein smirked, "That's right. Why don't you take your buttercup, blossom, and bubbly personality and go home? You don't belong here."

Mine said, "Incorrect. I am owned by my Master, Wakana Hirata…"

Rein & Sayuri gasped, "THE NURSE?!"

Yukimi growled, "Oh, I can't believe her… Wakana, you moron… She's just being jealous over me…"

Sayuri asked, "Beg pardon, Miss Itami?"

Itami said, in nervousness, "Oh, it's nothing. I'm just a little tense. So, you're with Miss Hirata, huh? I can tell, since Nurse Hirata has the same shade as your hair."

Mine smiled, "Thanks. But her hair is a dark magenta. Me, I'm lavender."

Sayuri said, "I'm more of a dark blue…"

Rein smiled, "I'm brown, normal, and _au natural_."

Mine roared, "NO ONE ASKED YOU, YOU LESBIANS!"

Rein sobbed in shocked, "L-L-L… Lesbians?"

Sayuri felt insulted, as she was on one knee, in pain, "Damn… My own womanhood, shattered by a fembot…"

A girl with blonde hair said, "Oh, isn't she the one with the insults? She's such a crabby."

Another girl in green hair said, "Yeah. She's such a loser."

Mine huffed, "Keep walking, pumpkins! You're just gonna be kissing, soon."

She muttered, "Assholes."

Itami barked, "LANGUAGE!"

Rino, a girl in orange hair, in the same uniform as Rein & Sayuri, appeared, along with Pucchan, her puppet friend, which has a green shirt and black pants. He has big eyes and a mouth, too.

"Hubba-hubba~! Who's this piece of work?" Pucchan smiled.

Itami said, "You hit the nail on the head."

Mine asked, "Who's this freak?"

Rino smiled, "Well, hello there, Miss. I'm Rino Rando. You are a robot, right?"

Mine asked, "How do you know?"

Pucchan said, "She knows, because it's NYOB. Plus, you shouted it out in your compressors."

Mine sighed, "Freaks…"

A girl in red hair and a small badge appeared, as she said, "Hi… Secretary Rando, you are wanted for a meeting with the rest of the Best Student Council executives."

Rino sobbed, "Aw… I was just about to know this girl!"

Mine sighed, "How so?"

Rein smiled, "I think you lucked out, rescued, and saved yourself, before the insults came in…"

Rino asked, "Huh?"

Mine examined her badge, which was a Cleveland Cavaliers team pin. She asked, "You're Japanese, and you worship an American Basketball team?"

The girl said, "My dad was a fan of the sport. He took me to a Cavs game in America, during the summer, which was the finals of the NBA Finals against Golden State… and, well, he was sad that his team lost…"

Mine said, "I see. Is he a fan of those Cavs?"

"Well, no. He's more of a Spurs fan."

"Buncha losers, if you ask me. Now, begone, before I write out who's a loser in the NBA Finals runner-ups, the Cavs!"

The girl said, sarcastically, "Please do. If they won the NBA title, maybe you should insult Stephan Curry. He's the reason Dad turned down Cleveland…"

Rino said, as she walked with her, "Now, now… There's always next season. Personally, I don't follow sports, since I'm bad at it."

Pucchan added, "Besides, the players get shifted around, every year."

They left, as Rein sighed, "Phooey. You're bluffing."

Mine said, "No, I'm serious. I have a memory bank storage of 12,000 gigabytes, and can maintain a clean stored profile, eliminating harmful malware… _All Night Raid Robots must be clean and sterilized…_ Pumpkin, you know what I mean, when I can insult girls… I have a past life, who wanted a boy…"

Rein asked, "So, you're not a lesbian?"

Mine said, "By choice. But I _am_ an L-Series Mine M-80… until she returns me, for a husband."

Itami smiled, "Same old Wakana… You know, you're right, when it comes to seriousness, but even so-."

"There you are!" Wakana appeared, in her doctor's gown, purple shirt, and long skirt, as she fluffed her long magenta hair, "I was looking all over for you, you clueless android!"

Mine bowed, as she sat up, "Pardon me, Master, but these ladies were insulting me…"

Wakana barked, "LIAR! I can see it in your eyes! You just want to insult them! I wish I had that removed from you."

"Not to mention that removal of your cans!" Mine joked, pointing at her boobs, "Lemme set the record straight, when's my turn to have huge knockers, like yours?"

Wakana grabbed her hand and yelled at her, "YOU STUPID GIRL! LET'S GO!"

She dragged her off, as Mine waved, "Bye, you guys. And for the record, that's how I am programmed. Sorry for the jabs. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings!"

Rein waved, as Itami sighed, "Thank goodness…"

Sayuri smiled, "Good. Thank god she's gone. She's rude, very ill-tempered, and a distinct personality of Kaori Izumi."

Rein said, "Amen, Sayuri. I was just about to say that!"

Sayuri smirked, "And I'll bet she doesn't know the 2015 NBA Champs, the Golden State Warriors… or the Cleveland Cavaliers, as she stated."

Itami sighed, as she sat up. Rein then said, "LeBron James…"

Sayuri asked, "Huh?"

Rein suddenly started to say _every_ player in the Cavs' roster, "Kyrie Irving… Kevin Love… J.R. Smith… Timofey Mozgov…"

Sayuri barked, "Okay, I get it!"

Rein continued, "Shawn Marion, Tristan Thompson, Dion Waters, James Jones, David Blatt…"

Sayuri cried, "Rein, I get it!"

Rein yelled at Sayuri, as the other girls looked on, in concern, "Anderson Varejao! Iman Shumpert!"

"Rein, stop it!"

"Matthew Dellavedova! Mike Miller! Joe Harris!"

"REIN! KNOCK IT OFF!"

"A.J. PRICE!"

"SHUT UP, YOU IDIOT!"

 ** _Miz-K Note:_** _This part was written, BEFORE the Warriors-Cavaliers NBA Finals Rematch._

* * *

We cut to a dating service area, as a headless girl was holding her head, which has long pink hair and headphones. She reattached her head, with her eyes closed and her mouth shut and emotionless. She spun her head, screwing it on, clockwise, as her eyes were still closed. She was wearing a white shirt, black vest, and a red plaid skirt, as she smiled to the camera, licking her lollipop. Her eyes opened, showing red eyes.

 ** _Dating Mates - #29-5234375_**

(Chelsea): Good day to you, sweet humans… I am Chelsea. I am Chelsea. Chelsea. I am a robot designed for sex. Yes, I'm not that type of lady who wants just only for a get-together. That is so clichéd. Click. Click. Click.  
 _Error… Chelsea 4000 is non-compliant…_

 **WHANG!  
** She banged her head and rebooted. She continued.

(Chelsea): My favorite food is pizza… well, I am programmed to make pizza… I _am_ a self-service stove. See?

Chelsea opened her shirt, revealing her bare abdomen, which opened to show a small portable stove.

(Chelsea): Yes, but not for sex. You'd get burned. MY measurements are 83-54-84… _centimeter-wise…_ I do enjoy cosmetics…

She held up a small pink cosmetics box ( _Gaea Foundation_ ) and said, "Here. I have eyeliner, lipstick, blush… blush… and even perfume… Avon is dead… _Chelsea calling?_ I am. Chelsea."

She rotated her head and spun it around. She smiled and said, "Good. Sorry. My head wasn't what it is. But I do have a detachable head."

 **NOTE** : All Chelsea 4000s are equipped with a detachable head, for brushing her lovely hair, and for afternoon beauty salon purposes. She is modeled after the late Chelsea, a member of Night Raid, who was decapitated by the government, and her head was displayed in a flagpole, in the middle of town, not after her fingers on her left hand was shot off, her right arm sliced off, and her stomach shot. We cannot mention that the rest of her body was gone, since the graphic details are gory… and that Coro ate it.

(Chelsea): I can also do this.

Chelsea detaches her right arm and said, "See? I can give you a very long massage… since it has a mind of its own. You want a beauty with such Gaia Style, now's your chance!"

She leaned closer and reattached her right arm, "So, how about a jigsaw puzzle of me, for your girl? Move over, Mangle… I'm a cute Chelse-. **BZZT!** _Error! Error!_ Kittens are wonderful…"

She made a kissing gesture, and then her head fell off, dropping to the floor. Her neck hole smoked from her body, as she beeped, "Oh, shit! Not again!"

She dropped down and said, "Come back here, head!"

* * *

Now we move on to Leone. Leone took a job in a small petting zoo, surrounded by small piglets and goats. She was striking them with her hands, petting them gently, on the heads, as she purred like a kitten. She was wearing a dark tan one-piece uniform, made of leather, with her long blonde hair flowing, with the top of her hair forming wolf ears.

This was Leone 6000, a creation of an android version of Night Raid's Leone, who died in the final moments of the battle, after the worst possible way a woman would die: six bullets to the gut. But for this Leone, at Level 1, she was greeting her cute animal friends. Unlike her normal form, she can communicate with her animal brethren, and can even act like animals.

Hours later, she is seen near the lions' cage. She meowed, as she giggled, "Ah… Such ferocity… You lions are so tame…"

The lions roared, as Leone roared back. The lions bowed to her, from behind the bars, as she giggled, "I forgive you…"

Who was Leone's owner, you ask? Well, this petting zoo job, while viewing each animal in the zoo, was a part-time job for her. Her real master is located in a small town, far away.

Leone returned home to her master, inside a small white-paneled house. She turned to a boy in a white shirt, as she smiled, "Master, I am home…"

He said, "Come on to the couch, girl."

She dashed to the boy, and she laid her head on his lap. The boy asked, "So, how was your day?"

Leone giggled, "So good… I did enjoy petting the cute goats and piglets… and those lions, tigers, and bears are so fluffy… They understand me, because I speak their language…"

She replaced, as she smiled, "Right now, I get to spend my time with you, Master…"

She cuddled by him, as she purred like a cat.

Cut to Cucumber's office, as Mayura cried, "Okay, that made no sense, at all! Why is Leone with a boy, who is faceless?"

Seina said, "Sorry… But we cannot show you the user, since he is nowhere near our radar of taken characters. Plus, we have no detail on his ID. But hey, at least Leone found a good home…"

Setsuna sighed, "That was boring…"

Seina moved on, as she said, "Okay… Now, let's do Akame, next…"

Konoka was being hugged by Akame Gynoid, as Konoka was kissing her. Akame whispered, "Is that what you wanted, Master?"

Setsuna cried, "MISS KONOKA, FORSHAME! THERE'S A MAN PRESENT! AND HE'S CELIBATE!"

Vincent snarled at Setsuna, as he snarled, "I'm single… but I am not sick as a puppy…"

Setsuna squealed, "I was only kidding."

Seina barked, "Not _that_ Akame! _That_ Akame!"

* * *

We move on to the Akame 7000, who is modeled after Akame, the sole survivor of the War against the Empire. She is busy in a small office, wearing a black business suit. Akame was sorting paper out, in a metal bin, as a man in glasses, light brown hair, a green shirt, and holding a cup of coffee, approached her. He asked, "Hey, Akame… Uh, yeah… Are you sorting out the papers?"

Akame bowed, "Yes, Master. Shall I date you?"

The man said, "Yes. If you don't mind, how about we have a private meeting, in my office?"

Akame bowed and said, "Forgive me. But I am on Level 1, Master. If you want me to have sexual temptations in your office, set me to level 3, after work. For now…"

She kissed him, as he said, "Such a tease. Okay."

He left, as he sipped his coffee.

 **XXXXX**

In his office, which is a huge window office, he was sitting in his office chair, as Akame was in a sultry pose on a table, as she gave a kissing gesture to him, while music is playing. The boss then held a remote up and said, "Okay. Now, let's set you to _Level 2_. Not in office hours, we do Level 3."

The blinds were down, as he pressed the button. Akame started to twitch her feet, as she giggled. The music played, as it played " _I Touch Myself_ " by The Divinyls. She started to stand up and doing a dance, swinging her hips around. She removed her black blazer, revealing her white bra, while throwing it into him. She smiled, as she nuzzled her chest onto his face. She proceeded into removing her skirt, but…

"AHEM!" The music stopped, as Akame froze in place, and the boss in the green shirt was shocked. A woman in a white blouse and skirt was holding up some documents, as she was blushing.

"UH, sir… Is this a bad time? I'm sorry, but the quarterly budget charts has just been recorded, and the 3rd Quarter projection spreadsheets are set. And, uh, your secretary is… uh… I think she broke down…"

The boss said, "Yeeeee-yeah, she's on _pause_ , right now, so… It's a bad time. But thank you so much for giving me those documents. Also, knock before you enter, I, uh, don't want to be disturbed with my new secretary… and also, place it on my desk, in one hour, or when I'm ready… Just hold onto it, before I can begin. Anyway, thanks a bunch…"

She nodded and blushed heavily, "Uh, yes, sir… How embarrassing…"

She shut the door, as Akame resumed, removing her skirt. She danced to the boss, as he was happy.

* * *

Mayura sighed, "Sweet Lore… How pitiful of him to waste his career away, over a striptease."

Setsuna said, "Reminds me of the boss from _Office Space_."

Seina smiled, "Damn. I never knew that these people are so perverted, in-private."

Vincent said, "If I had a tallboy with me, I'd pound it… What? I drink beer, too, you know."

Seina smiled, "Well, we have covered all the sex robots of _Night Raid Robotics…_ except for…"

The cellphone rings, as Seina answers it. She called, "Hello~? Princess Seina, here."

She gasped, "WHAT?"

 **XXXXX**

A Mine M-90 was marching down the street in town, as she was crossed. She heard shouting from far away, as a Seryu U-28 was holding up a plush Koro dog doll, as she shouting to the men watching, on a wooden stage.

"Justice is always frowned upon! Justice always wins! NO! Justice is better than everything, but the one thing we have in common is _pleasure_! The time for justice _and_ pleasure is upon us! In the name of absolute pleasure, I will lead you men to glory! NOW! Shall we disperse in the sexual fantasies of _pleasure_ and _justice_?"

"Shut up, you bitch!" Mine appeared, as she roared, "You care about being a Level 3 Sex Robot! I am simply a cute sex robot, Pumpkin!"

Seryu glared in a demonic look, "How dare you, you _Night Raid_ trash? You're trash, and you belong in trash, flat-chest!"

Mine jumped up to the stage and argued at her. They exchanged words, as they are not programmed to strike each other. Once again, the Three Laws made an impact.

Seina watched on, from the monitor, as she panicked, "I was afraid of this…"

Mayura asked, "What? Is it an Esdeath gynoid now?"

Seina said, "No. Two robots from earlier, a Mine M-90 and a Seryu U-28… this cannot repeat itself."

Mayura asked, "Huh? What do you mean?"

Setsuna said, "It's the war against the real Mine and Seryu!"

Seina replied, "Kotoha said that they're not supposed to meet each other. Granted they are _Night Raid Gynoids_ , and are programmable, but there's a glitch in it. Lemme see…"

She typed in on a laptop, as it showed an error:  
 _Error 434 – Mine M-90.3 and Seryu U-28.4 are connected. Gynoids must not meet with each other as Mine M-90s are not compatible to meet and greet with Seryu U-28s, until a new update is installed. Results of stoppage of gynoids are 88.8% chance of failure._

Mayura gasped, "88 percent chance of failure?!"

Setsuna asked, "What does it mean?"

Seina smiled, "Well, you see, when a Mine and Seryu met with each other, long ago, they fought in Mortal Kombat. However, it ended with Seryu dead, and Mine clinging to life. Not long after Seryu died, Mine died, as well, after using her Trump Card, and confessing her love to Tatsumi. All those times, in gynoid form, they exchange words, with Mine victorious, 75% of the time… but…"

"But?" The girls asked.

Seina sobbed, "Both the Seryu and Mine gynoids would both die, at the same time… as their systems were too much, since they are built to resemble hated enemies."

Back out in downtown, Seryu yelled at her, as Mine let her hair down, "You foolish little brat! I am all about style! Justice opens to me, almost as much as pleasure!"

Mine jeered, "Yeah, yeah, tin man! OH, WAIT! Are your legs chrome? Just the arms? It looks like you're more of a can opener than a sex droid, pumpkin."

Seryu hissed, "How dare you…"

Seryu started to glow in her eyes an infrared, as she beeped in a robotic tone, " _Error. System overload. Sexual Modes shutting down. Defense Mode activated._ "

Mine beeped, " _Warning. Sexual drive ceasing. Defense mode activated._ "

Seina panicked, "I was afraid of this…"

Mine grabbed her by the neck, as she yelled, "PUMPKIN! I HATE YOU, YOU BITCH!"

Seryu clasped her neck, as she hollered, "FOR JUSTICE! FUCK PLEASURE! I WILL END YOU, YOU BITCH!"

They started to brawl at each other, pulling their hair and punching each other. The men watching started to cheer and whistle, shouting "CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!"

Seina gasped, "OH, NO! THE NIGHT RAID ROBOTS ARE FIGHTING LIKE BEFORE!"

Mayura asked, "Like before? What do you mean?"

Seina said, "Well, this was a pre-update… Two Night Raid Robots were activated and owned by one user… and they were a Mine and Seryu Gynoid…"

Setsuna asked, "And?"

Seina giggled nervously, "And suddenly… uh… they started to fight and bicker that they destroyed each other? Uh, literally?"

Setsuna and Vincent snarled, as Mayura griped, "Oh, shit! I cannot believe you!"

Seina argued, "WELL, IT WASN'T MY FAULT! THOSE WERE THE SAME ROBOTS THAT DESTROYED EACH OTHER, BUT-!"

They gasped, as they heard buzzing. Mayura sobbed, "Fuck! I think I don't want to know what."

Mine and Seryu started to shake, as their servos were malfunctioning, while Seryu's head was shaking. Mine's chest thrusted forward, as she gagged, "AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! What is… going… on?"

Seryu beeped, "I… Justice lives on… Pleasure is forever… Sexual servos… frying down…"

She shrieked, as her voice went higher and higher, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!"

 **BOOM!  
BOOM!  
**Seryu's head and chrome arms exploded from the overload, while Mine's chest exploded into shrapnel. They both dropped to the ground, as the men were screaming in fear. Both gynoids were reduced to nothing more than trashed robots.

Back in the offices, Seina sighed, "And that's all, folks…"

Setsuna moaned, "So, that's why they are to be updated… When a Mine Robot confronts a Seryu Robot, everything would be hostile."

Mayura asked, "What about the others? Are there other robots that die?"

Vincent griped, "BUGGER THAT! What about that Esdeath Doll?"

Seina giggled, as she said, "Oops… I forgot… There was another update… and that was-."

Mayura asked, "Lemme guess… Esdeath and Akame?"

Seina bowed her head, as Setsuna gasped, "Oh, fuck!"

Setsuna cried, "Miss Konoka! Get Akame out of here!"

Cucumber appeared, in his red shirt and black pants, as he was with his Esdeath Robot, in long white hair, pale skin, white eyeliner, and big breasts. She was wearing a white bra and panties, as she giggled to her master.

"Hey, guys." Cucumber asked, "What's all the noise?"

Esdeath said, "Oh, Master… We mustn't dilly-dally. Intimacy is ours to enjoy… my long cucumber…"

Mayura moaned, "Uh-oh, too late."

Akame beeped, as she glowed in red eyes, "Esdeath."

Esdeath turned away, as Seina panicked, "Oh, boy…"

Vincent protected Setsuna, Konoka, Seina, and Mayura, as he called, "SIR! GET BACK!"

Cucumber asked, "Get back what?"

He saw Esdeath and Akame glare at each other, as he asked, "Oh, you mean them?"

Esdeath sneered, "I've waited a long time for you… you Night Raid scum."

Akame said, "Surely you never met a pure assassin. Now, you Jaeger, it's time the revolution lives on, as your empire crumbles."

Esdeath bellowed, "THIS IS WHERE YOU WILL DIE, REVOLUTIONIST! I AM A LEADER OF THE IMPERIAL ARMY!"

Mayura asked, "Uh, is anyone gonna tell them that the war is over?"

Konoka said, "If only the manga ended that way… Trust me. It hasn't ended yet."

They exchanged bold words, as Vincent explained to Cucumber about the pre-update glitches, and how Mine and Seryu destroyed each other.

Cucumber asked, "Uh… Glitches, resulting in destroying each other?"

Konoka sobbed, "My Akame-Bot…"

Mayura cried, "THIS IS SEINA'S FAULT!"

Setsuna cried, "YES! BLAME HER!"

Seina yelled, "OH, FUCK YOU, GUYS!"

Cucumber roared, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

Vincent cried, as Esdeath and Akame grabbed each other, "OH, NO! THEY'RE GONNA BLOW!"

Mayura shrieked, "HIT THE DECK!"

They hid from behind a table, as Cucumber yelled, "YOU IDIOTS! THEY ARE NOT GOING TO EXPLO-!"

He turned around, as everyone covered their eyes and ears. As they shook, they heard… … …nothing. Seina asked, "Uh… What happened?"

Mayura said, "No explosions?"

They crawled out, as they gasped in horror. Esdeath and Akame started kissing each other, rubbing onto each other, and passionately removing their clothes, in a very lusty manner, as Cucumber said, "Oh, you mean the whole fighting amongst themselves issue? Yeah, they just resolved it. They just released an update for the Esdeath and Akame models… But no news on the Mines and Seryus."

Seina asked, "When was the update?"

Cucumber said, "Yesterday… Didn't you read the news? Excuse me."

He rolled down a huge black curtain in front of Esdeath and Akame. He said that they're distracting the people here.

Seina said, "Then… who did Kotoha use to plant the probes?"

Kotoha sent a text to Seina, as it read:  
 _Seina,  
Uh, sorry, but you better view the action… Things have gotten downhill.  
The Chelsea Robot suddenly broke down, as her ex-lover impaled her head into a flagpole. The Seryu U-28 that the Tsukamotos own suddenly crashed, and her arms fell off. She started to speak in gibberish, before her breasts exploded. The Mine Robot in Miyagami suffered a malfunction…_

Seina moaned, "OH, shit, shit, shit, shit, tons of shit…"

She turned to the Chelsea Robot she viewed from the Dating video, and saw her head on a flagpole, as the boy in a white shirt and green hair was annoyed. He was turning away from the gynoid's head, while looking at her headless body, crying. A few students were shaken, as they saw what the boy did.

At the Tsukamoto house, Seryu started to shake and spark. After 20 minutes, her arms fell apart, and she dropped to her knees and made a buzzing sound.  
"Justice… will… prevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv…"

She buzzed at the V, as Tenma asked, from far away, "What is that? Yakumo?"

Meanwhile, in Miyagami Academy, Mine cried out, "HEY! Who touched me? Which one of you losers did it?"

She stepped forward, as she suddenly started to twitch. Her chest expanded, and then…  
 **BOOOOOOM!  
** Her chest exploded into nothing, showing her chrome wires and chips.

At a local zoo, Leone was prancing along, passing the gorilla cages. She kipped her left leg up, but then…

 **BZZT!  
** Leone's hair frazzled, as her eyes went cross-eyed, and her body landed onto the bars, motionless and frozen. A gorilla sniffed the gynoid and then grabbed her right arm, pulling her into his cage, only to pull and tug at her lifeless body, breaking off most of her limbs, onto the bars, in excessive force.

At the restaurant, Sheele suddenly dropped her glasses, again, and as she bent down, her upper body fell off, dropping to the floor. She stopped moving, as her head and arms popped off. The customers were shocked, as Sanji saw the whole thing. He screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOO! MY SHEELE-SWAN!"

Zoro sighed, "Useless."

Sanji was by the wall, dejected, holding the head of the broken Sheele, "My dream… It's all a nightmare… Please kill me…"

Zoro growled, "Loser."

And finally, the Akame Robot in the office was getting coffee for her boss. However, she moved her arm and poured all the coffee onto her head, melting off most of her skin and hair. She collapsed, as she was buzzing from her head, and smoking from the melted skin and chrome.

 **XXXXX**

Back at the office, Seina called Kotoha and said, "UH… Kotoha Kutsugi… Where on earth did you install the probes?"

Kotoha said, via phone, "In the last place no one dares to inspect… Their va(BEEP)s."

Seina groaned, as she rubbed her eyes, with her head pale blue. She smiled and said, "Oh. Okay… uh… Thank you for the info. I guess. Bye."

She hung up, as she kneeled to Cucumber, and prayed.

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! IT WASN'T MY FAULT! YOU WERE NOT SEXING IT UP WITH THAT ESDEATH ROBOT!" Seina shrieked, as she pleaded.

Konoka added, "And now she's copping a cheap feel on _my_ Akame Robot!"

Setsuna blushed, "At least she isn't making me jealous…"

Konoka barked, "I'M GETTING MY MONEY BACK! She broke my heart…"

She grabbed Setsuna's wrist and yelled, "COME ALONG, SETSUNA! Those sons of bitches in _Night Raid Robotics…_ They'll get theirs!"

Setsuna pleaded, "WHY ME?"

They left, as Mayura called, "Hey, and when you're done, don't forget to ask about the whole Mine/Seryu glitch thing!"

Cucumber said, "Uh… What happened now?"

Vincent said, "I'll explain everything, sir. Follow me."

He and Cucumber left to the office, as Seina & Mayura were concerned. Seina asked her, "You want to go for a burger?"

Mayura smiled, "Better than this motherfucker. Sure."

Seina & Mayura left the building, turning the lights out. Mayura called to the two gynoids, "GET A ROOM, DAMN YOU!" and then slammed the door.

Eventually, Esdeath was repaired, now only to please her master, Cucumber, and Cucumber _only_ ; while Konoka returned her sex robot, in a full refund, in favor of Setsuna, knowing that she and her bodyguard cannot be separated by machinery. To this day, _Night Raid Robotics_ became the #1 robot distribution for the most glitches and mishaps, and remains on top, for days to come. As for how many it took, I'll give you a hint… it's at the millions mark, and there's a 1 in front of it.

* * *

 ** _Thanks for reading~!_**


End file.
